Five Game Parlay: Week 14

We have crept a little closer as Joe kept the door open as he had (as I predicted ahead of time) a 1-4 record. Unfortunately, Steve and I were able to gain one game on him as we were 2-3 and got within a couple games. Brian Drake, however, had his best week of the year as he won four of his five games. Pat Wisniewski joined Steve and I with the 2-3 week. With four weeks to go this is still anyone’s game if anyone can get hot in the month of December. Let’s take a look at the standings and the picks.

Joe 33-31-1 (1-4)
Steve 31-32-2 (2-3)
Ryan 30-33-2 (2-3)
Drake 28-36-1 (4-1)
Polka 27-37-1 (2-3)


Joe’s Picks

New England Patriots -9 over Miami Dolphins. The Patriots have historically been virtually unstoppable in the month of December and lately the Dolphins have been unable to stop opposing running backs. Look for it to be a Sony Michel kind of day.

Baltimore Ravens + 7 over Kansas City Chiefs. Two worlds collide this week. The supercharged Chiefs offense minus Kareem Hunt and Sammy Watkins against a Ravens D that gives up the fewest overall points per game in the NFL. I’m not 100 percent sure who wins the game but if it’s the Chiefs they do it by less than seven points.

New York Giants -3.5 over Washington Redskins. The Redskins are starting Mark Sanchez at QB. The end.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers +9.5 over New Orleans Saints. The Bucs have beaten the Saints in two straight games and the Saints are coming off a loss so I should probably pick the Saints. However, dating back to 2013 nine of the 11 games these two teams have played have been decided by less than the 9.5 Week 14 spread. The Saints should win but the point spread is too high.

Pittsburgh Steelers -12.5 over Oakland Raiders. I was tempted to take a page out of the upside down world from Stranger Things and take the Raiders but with the Steelers coming off of two straight losses and looking to solidify their spot in the playoffs I just couldn’t do it. Two quick TD passes to Antonio Brown, and maybe another to TE Vance McDonald, this game will be a blow out.  

Steve’s Picks

Miami Dolphins (+9) over New England Patriots. Over the past few seasons, the Patriots have struggled when travelling to Miami, and I think those struggles will continue for them this week. With Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski looking like they aren’t quite right, I think Miami finds a way to keep this game close against their division rival.

New Orleans Saints (-9.5) over Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The forecast is calling for a chance of rain and potentially windy conditions in this contest, and if the weather affects the passing offenses in this game even a little bit, that could spell doom for Tampa. The Saints have Alvin Kamara and Mark Ingram to lean on while the Bucs have…Peyton Barber. Hahahahahaha

Buffalo Bills (-3.5) over New York Jets. The Jets have only averaged 12.2 points per game since Week 6, which is worst in the league, and I’m not sure that gets remedied in Week 14 against a tough Bills defense. Josh Allen is back and LeSean McCoy should be able to do enough to easily outpace the crappy Jets.

San Francisco 49ers (+5.5) over Denver Broncos. The loss of Emmanuel Sanders is going to hurt the Broncos for the rest of this year. More defensive attention can shift to Phillip Lindsay, and with their top two receivers now being rookies, I worry Denver is going to struggle mightily to move the ball.

Arizona Cardinals (+1) over Detroit Lions. It looks like Kerryon Johnson may miss his third straight week, and with Kenny Golladay likely seeing a lot of Patrick Peterson in coverage, the Lions could be in for a rough week. They have only averaged 16.1 points per game since Week 6, and I’m not sure that gets corrected this week against the Cardinals.

Ryan’s Picks

New York Giants (-3.5)  over Washington Redskins. The Giants have won three of their last four games, and the Redskins are having quarterbacks break their legs like it’s their job! Mark Sanchez or Josh Johnson at quarterback is an absolute disaster. Look for the Giants to continue to ruin their high draft pick with another win.

Los Angeles Chargers (-15.5) over Cincinnati Bengals. The Bengals are a mess without Andy Dalton- which is saying a lot because I don’t think that Andy Dalton is all that great. Philip Rivers should throw all over this defense, and the Chargers could win this one by 24 points. It’s a big number to give up, but I am confident they can do it.

Pittsburgh Steelers (-12.5) over Oakland Raiders. The Steelers shit the bed last week as they coughed up a win to the Chargers on Sunday night, and although they are still in good shape for the playoffs, this is a game that Pittsburgh can’t fuck around with. They need this win, and they need to punish the suck ass Raiders. I think they will do just that, even on the road. Look for Jaylen Samuels to pick up where James Conner left off and Pitt will roll.

Atlanta Falcons (+7) over Green Bay Packers. I really don’t like the Falcons. Like at all. However, the Packers are in flux. They haven’t been nearly what we thought they would be, all year long. Now they fired their head coach and a coordinator. I find it hard to lay a touchdown with a team in this situation. Julio Jones is due to score again since he only has three touchdowns all year. Give me the Falcons to at least cover the number if they don’t win outright.

San Francisco 49ers (+5.5) over Denver Broncos. The Niners aren’t very good and have lost a lot of games in a row. However, they aren’t the worst team in the league. The Broncos just lost Emmanuel Sanders to injury the other day- and after Phillip Lindsay, there isn’t a lot to get excited about for the Broncos. I don’t think the Niners will win this week, but I think they can cover the number.

Drake’s Picks

Cleveland Browns +1 over Carolina Panthers. Cam Newton isn't right.  That shoulder has major issues and everyone knows it.  Cleveland at home will win outright.  The Browns keep improving under Mayfield and extend the Panthers losing streak.  After this week it wouldn't shock me if Cam sat down for the season.  Where there's smoke, there's fire.

Detroit Lions -1 over Arizona Cardinals. The Cards are bad.  Real bad.  Then again so are the Lions.  My goodness why did I pick this game?  I wouldn't watch this if it was the only game on.  Let's hope Stafford gets his head out of his ass and the Lions steal one in the desert.

Miami Dolphins +9 over New England Patriots. Miami always gives the Pats trouble in South Beach.  Gronk is MIA and I don't mean Miami.  This sets up to be a Sony Michel day but I think Josh Gordon balls out with no Xavien Howard.  Miami loses but covers the 9.  

Kansas City Chiefs -7 over Baltimore Ravens. I can't see the Ravens scoring enough to keep pace with Kansas City.  Mahomes will struggle more than usual vs this very stout Baltimore secondary but Lamar Jackson just isn't a good enough passer to keep this from getting out of reach.  The only prayer the Ravens have is if they hold the ball for 58 minutes of the game.  Even that might not be enough to slow down KC.  

Los Angeles Raiders +12 over Pittsburgh Steelers. 12.5 is a BIG nut to lay and I think the black hole eats up Big Ben and the Raiders come in under the 12.5.  Ben on the road traditionally isn't great.  His numbers in Oakland back that up.  Steelers win but the boys in black and silver keep it close.

Polka’s Picks

Washington Redskins -3.5 over New York Giants. With the breaking news of no ODB for the favorite Giants on the road, give me the Deadskins to cover that 3 1/2 in this NFC Central suckfest, while feeling sorry for every fan that actually paid for a ticket.  Barkley will run wild, but Washington covers at home.

Detroit Lions -1 over Arizona Cardinals. The Lions are a one point road favorite in sunny Arizona.  No Kerryon Johnson, no Marvin Jones, and barely clinging to life. Give me the Lions still in this tilt and the one point.

Green Bay Packers -7 over Atlanta Falcons. As in the Roundtable piece, I’m loving Green Bay at home against a putrid Falcons defense.  The Packers are favored by a touchdown and am very confident that they will cover the seven at home.  Most teams are rejuvenated when a Head Coach gets the gate, expect some heat off the field in Green Bay. Packers cover 7

Minnesota Vikings +3 over Seattle Seahawks. Is Seattle that good again or the Vikings that bad?  Vikes are three point underdogs on the road, and I think they have too much firepower for the Seahawks to handle regardless of location.  Give me Minnesota and the three.

Dallas Cowboys -3.5 over Philadelphia Eagles. How about them Cowboys!  Well I’m taking them this week at home versus the SuperBowl Champion Eagles and still cover the 3 1/2. I cannot really figure Philly out this season, but I know enough that Zeke will run all over them. Cowboys -3 1/2

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