Five Game Parlay: Week 2

The first week of the Five Game Parlay is in the books and everyone kept it around .500 for the week. Your esteemed host, Ryan, is tied for the lead so far at 3-2 with RotoExperts’ Joe Gallina. Not too shabby. Steve Rapin hit exactly .500 with his 2-2-1 week as he has already started with the ties. He and Patrick Wisniewski both bet on their Lions, and watched their team get their asses handed to them by the New York Jets. I’m hoping my 49ers do the same thing to those Lions next week. Patrick got off to a little bit of a slow 2-3 start and is tied with Brian Drake, another newcomer to this game. Fear not gentlemen, there are 16 more weeks to make up for it and get to the top. Let’s take a look at the standings and the Week 2 picks.


Ryan      3-2
Joe         3-2
Steve     2-2-1
Patrick   2-3
Drake    2-3

Ryan’s Picks

Carolina Panthers (+5.5) over Atlanta Falcons. Not sure how the team that dominated defensively in Week 1 is nearly a touchdown underdog to a team that can’t put the ball in the endzone. Unless they are going to start giving out six points for field goals and three points for touchdowns, I don’t see the Falcons even winning this game, never mind covering the number.

Minnesota Vikings (+1) over Green Bay Packers. Aaron Rodgers did his best magic act last week, but it may have come at the expense of further games. I am legitimately worried he might not make it through this one with the rough Vikings defense. I think the Vikes could be in the Super Bowl this year and will take them any time they are an underdog.

Denver Broncos (-5.5) over Oakland Raiders. This one is as much picking against the Raiders as it is with Denver. The Broncos were solid in their opener taking out my least favorite team, and I expect them to do well again this week. Case Keenum and the dual backs will do enough that Denver wins by a touchdown.

San Francisco 49ers (-5.5) over Detroit Lions. I usually don’t make a habit of picking my beloved 49ers, but I like that they kept it relatively close against the powerhouse Vikings in Minnesota. I also think the Lions looked horrific last week, are on a short week, and if all reports are true, the players are on a mini revolt against their heavily bearded coach. Give me the uber-handsome Jimmy G in this one.

Philadelphia Eagles (-3) over Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The Eagles showed that their running game and defense will do enough to help them win games until they get their MVP-caliber quarterback in the mix. The Bucs put up a shit ton of points last week, but that won’t happen again versus the Eagles D. Fly Eagles Fly by ten.

Joe’s Picks

New York Giants (+3) over Dallas Cowboys. The Giants are loaded with offensive weapons. The Cowboys’ not so secret offensive weapon is a very talented RB by the name of Ezekiel Elliott. Their quarterback, Dak Prescott, has thrown for less than 200 yards in seven of his last nine games. Zeke has a 3.85 YPC average and just one TD in three career games against the Giants and that was when he was running behind a good offensive line. The Giants will stop Zeke, and if their own putrid offensive line can give Giants quarterback Eli Manning time to throw the ball, the Giants should win a close game 21-17.

Denver Broncos (-5.5) over Oakland Raiders. The Raiders led the Rams 13-10 at the end of the first half last Monday night and Jon Gruden walked off the field with a smug look on his face looking as if he had just won the Super Bowl. I have a feeling it’s going to be the last lead his team sees for a little while. The Broncos are always tough at home, and it’s only Week 2 but the Raiders are reeling. Their roster moves boggle the mind. Final score Broncos 31 Raiders 7. Jordy Nelson will score the Raiders’ lone touchdown.

New Orleans Saints (-8.5) over Cleveland Browns. The Browns will return to their losing ways against an angry Saints team who were embarrassed in Week 1 by a journeyman quarterback. The Saints roll out to an early lead and never look back. They easily win by 10 points, which isn’t bad because last season’s version of the Browns would have lost by 20.

Los Angeles Chargers (-7) over Buffalo Bills. Incredulously most of the early week action was going on the Bills. I know technically this is a 10 a.m. game for the Chargers, and their defense looked pretty bad last week, and they’ll be without Joey Bosa for the next few weeks…but they’re playing the Bills. The Bills were supposed to be able to ease rookie Josh Allen into the starting QB job. Throw that plan out the window. It’s Week 2 and they’ve already thrown in the towel on their 2018 season and the poor kid is left to try to pick up the pieces playing behind a terrible offensive line and trying to get the ball to Zay Jones. Despite losing to the Chiefs last week the Chargers have won six of their past seven games when they’ve been the favorite and that number will increase after this week. The Chargers beat the Bills 52-24 in Week 11 last season. It may not get that ugly…well maybe it might…

Houston Texans (-2) over Tennessee Titans.  The Titans come into this game as the walking wounded. Quarterback Marcus Mariota is expected to play, despite injuring his elbow in Week 1. His favorite target, tight end Delanie Walker, is out for the rest of the season. The Titans’ most talented receiver, Corey Davis, has been limited in practice with a hamstring injury. Rishard Matthews is still trying to get into game shape after having knee surgery in August. He was targeted just once in Week 1. There are just too many obstacles in the Titans’ way. The Texans will be motivated to avoid starting the season at 0-2 and enjoy a comfortable 24-10 win.

Steve’s Picks

Minnesota Vikings (+1) over Green Bay Packers. This one comes down to injuries. Aaron Rodgers is banged up and may not play, as is Davante Adams. Even with those two healthy, I would be tempted to take the Vikings as one-point underdogs, but with the potential for Rodgers not to play, it’s almost impossible not to take Minnesota. A large part of me also wants to see Aaron Rodgers miss this week, just so I can hear fan of Fighting Chance Fantasy and Packers fan, Jason S. bitch and moan at how bad his team is. That’s so much fun to see him miserable…

Miami Dolphins (+3) over New York Jets. I may be a little sour after the thrashing that the Jets gave the Lions on Monday Night Football, but I don’t think they are real. Miami isn’t a great team, but I don’t think they are deserving of being three-point dogs. Go Kenyan Drake!!!

Philadelphia Eagles (-3) over Tampa Bay Buccaneers. There is no way Ryan Fitzpatrick is able to even come close to replicating his amazing performance against the Saints from last week. He has a better shot at throwing for throwing for 400+ yards and four touchdowns this week, than I do of looking in a mirror and being happy with what I see. The defending Super Bowl Champs will have their way with the Bucs.

San Francisco 49ers (-5.5) over Detroit Lions. I hate the Lions. I picked them to win in the Parlay last week. They let me down. I picked them to win in the Fighting Chance Eliminator contest. They let me down. They cost me $85 in my weekly pick ems contest because the total score of that game was the tie breaker, and I lost because they couldn’t score enough fucking points against the damn Jets. They let me down. Again. Just like last year. And the year before. And every year. Sigh…

Denver Broncos (-5.5) over Oakland Raiders. I’m not sure Jon Gruden is quite ready for today’s NFL. I think he may come around to it, but the Raiders looked lost at times last week and Derek Carr looked horrible. The Broncos pass rush will prove too much for the Raiders and I think they win this one rather easily.

Polka’s Picks

Detroit Lions (+5.5) over San Francisco 49ers. I know I’m playing with fire betting on the Lions two weeks in a row, and especially after that embarrassing Monday Night Football display, but 5 ½ is way too good of a cookie to pass on, as the 49ers aren’t the 85 Bears after all.  Take the Lions getting the 5 ½.

Cleveland Browns (+8.5) over New Orleans Saints. The Saints/Browns game has shoot-out written all over it, and regardless if the Saints are at home, Cleveland has finally found some fight and has legit weapons all over the field, with Landry, Gordon and Njoku along with Duke Johnson all catching passes.  Give me the Browns to cover 8 ½ on the road against a mediocre Saints defense.

Los Angeles Chargers (-7) over Buffalo Bills. Philip Rivers is going to destroy the Bills, if Joe Flacco did, Rivers may actually pass for 8 touchdowns if the Bills put up even a minute fight, take the Chargers and the touchdown, this will get very ugly.

Pittsburgh Steelers (-5) over Kansas City Chiefs. I’m absolutely in love with the Steelers at home, even without Bell and a dinged up already/as usual Big Ben at plus 5.  The Chiefs defense has fallen off in the past year and the Steelers are an absolute bitch to deal with at Heinz Field.  Take the Steelers and enjoy your winnings.

Los Angeles Rams (-12) over Arizona Cardinals. Lastly, the Rams at home giving 12 is merciful, they’re going to destroy the Cards in this game, and in a personal stake, and I want it.  DJ is going to see plenty of passes in the catch-up mode the Cards will be in for this 60 minutes of hell they’re going to be in Sunday.  Rams cover-

Brian’s Picks

Minnesota Vikings (+1) over Green Bay Packers. Wait Green Bay is favored? Versus the Vikings? Where Mr. Rodgers and Davante Adams are hurt too?  Someone is on more pain meds than post game Aaron Rodgers. Vikings by 7.

Philadelphia Eagles (-3) over Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Yes Tampa put up major numbers vs the Saints. No Carson Wentz isn’t playing. Let’s stop with the nonsense though. That Tampa D couldn’t stop me, you, and your cousin Steve. Eagles exploit a number of holes in the secondary and win by 10. 

Cleveland Browns (+8.5) over New Orleans Saints. Two teams coming off week 1 miseries face off and the offenses should be in high gear. Love Tyrod Taylor as a spot starter. Josh Gordon scores twice. Browns win by 3. 

New York  Giants (+3) over Dallas Cowboys. Two teams with no defense and terrible QB play meet for the right to not start 0-2. Giants have more talent (not saying much) and should be able to hold off a Cowboys team who has less playmakers at WR than my 5-year-old sons flag team. G-men get the W by 6. 

Chicago Bears (-3) over Seattle Seahawks. The Bears will shake off the shock from last week and their new flashy offense finds its way. Seattle has no line, no WRs, and no real running game. Give me Khalil Mack vs that hot garbage all day. 

Have Your Say